“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt” –Honore de Balzac. Take a moment and let that quote sink in…We’ve all felt anxiety, stress, and doubt. Perhaps, to an extreme point where we reluctantly passed on an opportunity that could have elevated our careers to the next point or said “yes” to the dream partner. Whether that was because of fear of not being good enough, fear of success, fear of failure, or whatever other built-in barrier to truly embracing believing in ourselves.
The purpose of this article to recognize that you’re not in the hard-to-believe-in-yourself boat alone, sailing an ocean of complacency, but that you do have the choice to continue to be on that boat, or switch to the heck-yes-I-do-THIS ship. Here are four tips to start your re-believing journey:
- Identify Self-Doubt Triggers. It is essential to be able to identify what, why, how, and when self-doubting triggers appear. Whatever it is, when that thought or phrase pops in your mind, you need to recognize it, and switch it to an affirming tense. For example, switch “I can’t do…” to “I may not have done this before, however, I can identify what I need to do to work towards XYZ…” Another example, switch “I’ve done that before, and failed, so I won’t be doing that again,” to “I’ve gained lessons from my past that can aid me in overcoming challenges like this, so I am ready to move forward with this opportunity…”
- Recall Your Successes. You know all of that self-doubt tug-o-war dictations that go on in your head really only amount to something if you let it. As mentioned before, identify, recognize, and rephrase that hateful talk to empowering. You’re amazing! You’ve gone through hell and back, and have survived. You’ve also achieved so much more than you can imagine or even give yourself credit. When the negative thoughts enter your mind detour them with an example of your past success similar to the present trigger. Think about how you handled that situation, your skills that took you to the next step, the feelings of love and joy that embraced your body while achieving that success. You can write it down in a Success Journal to remind yourself whenever. Bottle those positive feelings up. Let your spirit and mind recall your inner strength. Evict the negativity, and replace with positive successes that you’ve actually achieved.
- Trust and Love Yourself. This can be the hardest or easiest step for an individual. However, it is one of the most pivotal belief and emotion to sustainable personal growth. You are in the driver’s seat of you, your life, and how you treat yourself. Grow and expand the relationship yourself. Don’t abuse yourself. Trust and love yourself for all that you are and all that you want to become. Radiate that acceptance of you.
- Give Yourself Permission to Succeed, Fail, and Try Again. Self-doubt is always going to be around, however, the method in which you identify, manage, and work toward minimizing the impact it has on you lies on you. Giving yourself permission to learn, love, and move on from past and future successes, failures, and everything in between. Don’t allow fear, guilt, shame, or whatever toxic emotion paralyze you from moving forward.
Remember, you’re unique, special, and you, yes, you – you matter. Thoughts shape action of disbelief or belief. Work on getting to know you, your thoughts, managing those thoughts, recalling your successes, learning to trust and love yourself, and giving yourself permission to accept and learn from your actions. Be you, believe in you, and all of the wonderful, amazing, talented things that you can do. You are worth believing in YOU.
Great readings and visual to inspire YOU…
Brower, E. (2012). Meditation: Believing in Yourself. Yoga Journal. Retrieved http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/2891.
Cudd, A. (2013). Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are. TED Talks. Retrieved: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc.
N.A. (2013). Confidence Quotes: Inspiring Words to Help You Believe in Yourself. Huffington Post. Retrieved: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/12/confidence-quotes-inspiring-words_n_3416314.html.
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by Katie Doseck, Ph.D. Chief Visionary | Viral Solutions LLC