Let’s get real for a minute. Narcissists exist. They’re out there in every workplace, no matter where you go. You’ve probably encountered one—maybe more than one—and wondered, “How do I deal with this person without losing my mind?” The truth is, handling a narcissist at work isn’t easy, but it’s possible. And if you do it right, you’ll not only survive—you’ll thrive.
In this guide, we’ll break down some practical strategies for handling narcissists in the workplace. No fluff, no sugar-coating—just straight-up advice on how to make it work with these larger-than-life personalities.
1. Don’t Feed Their Ego, But Don’t Fight It Either
The Problem: Narcissists in the workplace have an insatiable appetite for admiration. They want praise, they want recognition, and they want to be seen as the best in the room. If you constantly feed into that need, you’ll be enabling their behavior. But if you fight it, you’ll find yourself in an endless power struggle. So, what’s the solution?
The Solution: Strike a balance. You don’t have to stroke their ego, but you also don’t need to engage in a battle of wills. Acknowledge their accomplishments where it’s warranted, but do it with purpose. When you give them recognition, tie it to how their success benefits the whole team or project.
How to Implement It: Instead of inflating their ego with over-the-top compliments, keep it grounded: “You did a great job on that presentation, and it really helped move the project forward.” You’re giving credit, but you’re also keeping the focus on the bigger picture.
2. Stay Calm and Unemotional—They Thrive on Drama
The Problem: Narcissists love drama. They’re skilled at pushing buttons and creating tension because, let’s face it, they thrive in chaos. If you let them, they’ll drag you into their emotional rollercoaster—and no one has time for that.
The Solution: Stay calm and keep your emotions in check. Narcissists are always trying to get a reaction out of people, but if you remain cool and collected, they’ll have no fuel for their fire. Responding with logic and reason takes the wind out of their sails.
How to Implement It: When a narcissist tries to stir up drama, stay focused on facts and avoid engaging emotionally. For example, if they’re trying to start an argument, respond with something like, “I hear what you’re saying, but let’s focus on the task at hand.” You’re not giving them the reaction they crave, and you’re steering the conversation back to what matters.
3. Set Boundaries—and Stick to Them
The Problem: Narcissists are boundary-pushers. They don’t believe rules apply to them, and they’ll try to take advantage of every situation if they think they can get away with it. This can lead to issues like missed deadlines, stepping on others’ work, or even taking credit for team efforts.
The Solution: Boundaries are non-negotiable when dealing with a narcissist. You have to set them early and enforce them consistently. Narcissists will test you, but if you stick to your guns, they’ll eventually respect the limits you’ve established.
How to Implement It: Be direct and firm when setting boundaries. For example, if they consistently try to overstep in meetings, calmly remind them of the agenda: “We’re focusing on the project goals right now. Let’s save additional ideas for later.” The key is consistency. Narcissists will push back, but if you hold the line, they’ll adapt.
4. Use Their Ambition to Your Advantage
The Problem: Narcissists are driven by their desire for success and recognition. While this can be frustrating for those around them, it can also be a huge asset if you know how to direct their ambition in the right way.
The Solution: Give them projects or tasks where their success will directly benefit the team. When you align their personal goals with the team’s objectives, you’re turning their self-interest into a win for everyone.
How to Implement It: Assign them high-visibility projects where they can show off their skills, but make sure those projects are tied to broader company goals. For example, “You’re great at leading presentations—how about you take point on this client pitch? It’s a great opportunity to showcase your strengths, and it will help us land a major deal.” By positioning success as both a personal and team achievement, you’ll motivate them to deliver their best work.
5. Don’t Expect Empathy—Keep Communication Clear and Direct
The Problem: Narcissists aren’t known for their empathy. They often lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others, which can make them seem cold or dismissive in the workplace. If you’re expecting them to suddenly “get it” and change their behavior, you’ll be waiting forever.
The Solution: Forget about trying to appeal to their empathy and focus on clear, direct communication. Narcissists respond better to straightforward, practical feedback. They need to know exactly what’s expected of them, and they appreciate it when communication is to the point.
How to Implement It: When you need to address an issue with a narcissist, avoid emotional language. Instead, focus on the facts: “The project deadline is next Friday, and we need to hit these milestones by Wednesday. Let’s make sure we’re on track.” It’s factual, clear, and leaves no room for interpretation. Narcissists may not care about feelings, but they do care about looking good, so they’ll be motivated to stay on task.
Navigating the Narcissist Minefield
Narcissists can be challenging to work with, but they’re not impossible to manage. The key is understanding their triggers and learning how to navigate around their more difficult traits. When you stay calm, set firm boundaries, and keep your communication clear and direct, you’ll find it much easier to handle these larger-than-life personalities.
Remember, it’s not about trying to change them—narcissists are who they are. But by being strategic, you can turn even the most self-centered colleague into someone who contributes to the team’s success. So the next time you encounter a narcissist in the workplace, don’t panic. With the right approach, you can not only survive—you can thrive.
Want to read more about Narcissists in the workplace? Check out this blog: The Surprising Benefits of Having a Narcissist in the Workplace
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